"We are not birds...but we have wings"
What follows is a heartfelt testimonial from one of our HIV+ clients who recently attended our Care program. Sharing their experience was their way of saying thank you, while at the same time helping others going through this life-changing experience.
For a long time scientists have speculated that birds adopt a "V" formation for aerodynamic reasons. When a bird flies, it leaves a slipstream in its wake. Other birds will receive an uplift by flying slightly behind and to the side of the one flying in front. When many birds do this they form a V, benefiting all of them. By synchronising the flap of their wings to take advantage of the air current, and following exactly the same path as the bird in front, they show the benefits of working together for the common good.
Our Psychologist, Gabriela Castro adds: "This client's first contact with Brazos Abiertos was at a free HIV Testing campaign in the main square in Mérida. When the test result was "reactive", we immediately provided post-test counselling and linkage for confirmation of their diagnosis and treatment. We then provided continuous monitoring and invited them to participate in our group therapy. The client was apprehensive about HIV, concerned about their future, and how their partner would cope, and they kept thinking that HIV would take them to an early grave. After several months of our therapeutic work, you can see the difference in attitude resulting from their experience and in their moving testimonial on what it means to live with HIV." Please click on the photo to hear Gabriela talking about her work with us.
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When we began the self-help group, each of us came along with feelings of worry, disappointment, sadness, and anger. We arrived with tired wings, and some even with their wings "broken", having just received the news that no one ever expects. It is not easy to assimilate something so shocking as being told you are HIV positive. At first, just hearing the words "HIV" and "AIDS" made us shudder, our chests tighten and some of us literally felt mortified. You think it's the end of the World, however some keep calm, they are like the bird flying at the front of that "V" - flying alone, but helping lead the others forward.
Eventually we realised that our wings were not totally broken, but that infact we could still fly and furthermore, that we could benefit from the experiences of each member of the group. We also confronted and overcame our fear, understanding, for example, that the fear of water can only be overcome by immersing yourself in it. We had to re-evaluate ourselves, learning that it is only human to make mistakes, that we have our strengths and talents, and that we are much more than just sexual beings; we are intelligent, hardworking, and cheerful people, and now, eager to live life to the fullest, with different perspectives and goals, searching for new opportunities.
Of course we are not superheroes, but it is right for us to take advantage of anything we can find to help us move on with our lives. Some of us searched for psychological therapy, others for spiritual help, and there were those who simply drew strength from within themselves. Everything is valid, so long as it helps you to survive.
We are now confident that the bird at the front will always be there, and the ones behind have that guarantee. We feel less selfish now and more willing to share, in order to make a larger "V". Yes, we know that the unthinkable can become a reality, but also that we have to give ourselves the opportunity to forgive ourselves. The word "forgiveness" is somewhat difficult to deal with, because it is associated with "transgression", and I do not believe that we transgressed. Nobody is perfect, but rather it is about giving us a new opportunity and us being aware that we cannot blame anyone for our condition today, and that we have to be mature enough to assume the consequences of our actions.
Today, the terminology that we didn't know before - CD4 count, viral load, and adherence - are part of our everyday language. What we are now most aware of, is that we all have a responsibility to keep on flying. Of course, although we fly in a group, each one flaps in their own particular way, that is inevitable, but we now look after each other better than we did before, and that, when all is said and done, has to be good ... and what's more, we are in the best of health.
We all keep alive within us the hope of future scientific advances. Compared with just a few decades ago, we can see that enormous advances in medicine have taken place, and we know that more are on their way. While waiting for them to arrive, we will continue flying, and when we feel our wings are tired, we will land next to a stream, river or lake to gather our strength, and, sitting on the branches of a tree, with the breeze on our faces, we will look towards the distant horizon and remember those great moments that we enjoyed together, the laughter, the jokes and the warm hugs we shared, and then, refreshed, we will resume our journey.
The destination is infinite, it is as big as the sky, and getting there depends on each of us and our determination to move forward...together.